Acting originated on Pelican island, which is an island in the middle of the Missouri river, north of St. Louis. It began there in the year 5003 BC.
Of course there was no written record of what play these first thespians produced, but the recent discovery of ancient drawings on the basement walls of Rudolph J. Penderbottom's quaint little Victorian home in Cahokia seems to indicate the first play (a musical) was a clever cross between Gilligans island and Promethius Bound. Odd as it may seem, this combination proved highly successful and toured up and down the Missouri river, playing to appreciative Native-American audiences. Eventually, the little troup hit the big-time, playing all the villages along the shores of the mighty Mississippi.
The theatre was built upon several, tethered rafts made of bulrushes and river mud. Torches were used for lighting the acting area. Lights were dimmed by various stage hands (raft hands as they were known back then) standing in front of the torches, thus blocking the full intensity of the lights at the appropriate moment. There is no record of what the raft hands were paid, but it is a good bet that union rules would have required extra allowance be paid for working with fire.
The play lasted three and one half days without intermissions. Audiences back then apparently had a lot more stamina then today's pampered play goers. Unfortunately, a mishap initiated by a disgruntled raft hand resulted in the entire production going up in flames somewhere between Hannible and the Lock and Dam near Saverton. The troup was devastated by the financial loss as insurance had not yet been conceived.
Times being as they were, it was impossible to find a financial backer willing to assume the risk. After several unsuccessful attempts to mount lesser productions on neighboring Cora island, the group disbanded. Acting fell into a deep, deep slumber. Upon the charred remains of the bulrush rafts, acting drifted down the Mississippi and out into the uncharted Gulf.
When acting awoke, it found itself in ancient Greece. But that's another chapter in our Condensed History of Acting.
There's no business like show business.
